Pipe Dreams, Realisations and Reality

I have had a relatively good day of moving boxes around in my loungeroom in what seemed like a game of tetris, tidying up as much as I could and playing with my little fur baby puppy Toby! He's a 6 month old Mini Foxy x Staffy and as you can see he has enourmous ears! He has a little problem called 'Prick Ear' it doesn't hurt him or affect him in any way, it just means he has radar hearing which comes in handy for him when I'm opening the dog food tin! Apologies for the fuzzy photo, he's a bundle of energy and hard to catch sitting still :) He's a gorgeous dog, very friendly and playful... on the odd occasion though he decides to test me and run off with a shoe but he's slowly learning that's just not on in my household! Puppies hey?

I looked around my crafting room today and decided (again) that I probably should clean it up again. Crafting rooms should be more like the Tardis... they look small but open the door and it's the size of a palace! A palace filled with storage boxes, clean desks and neat little rolls of ribbon, thread, jars of colour coded buttons and oh gosh... does such a thing even exist??

So I am pretty happy today mainly because tomorrow is the 1st of Decemeber and that means it's time to put up the Christmas tree!! It's one of my favourite parts of the holiday season :) My husband and I put on Christmas Carols sung by the one and only Frank Sinatra and our Christmas jazz album, set up the tree, hang the lights, bake a lovely dinner and have a glass of wine...tomorrow we've invited some friends to share in our fun so I'm really looking forward to it!

Do you want to know something? This occured to me this afternoon. I never thought I'd be a crafter... you know I didnt even own a glue gun until about a year ago (and let me tell you did life become so much easier!!).

I've always been more art- orientated...I have always had an knack for drawing and I still sometimes amaze myself when I find old drawings and can hardly believe it was me who did it! My art teacher in high school told me if I ever got the opportunity to go to France school of fine arts and study abroad... and I'm sure if I had have had the money I would be there right now! Ohh France... everyone wants to go to France... I want to go to provincial France, the countryside, set up a tent and just sit in an open feild staring at the sky, wandering down grassy paths and sketching and painting and photographing until my arms fell off! Maybe one day :) Then I studied Fine Arts with the intention of gaining a diploma and becoming a professional artist...unfortunately though that path didn't work for me. But hey, no need to worry! Most of the world's greatest Masters didn't have any 'training' and look what they acheived! :) Nothing is impossible.

I have always had an addiction to ribbons and fabrics though... I think it comes from my love of colour and the ways they are combined and matched and used to create something more beautiful. In a way that's what I strive to acheive in life... there are many elements available to us, many different colours, many different brushes and pencils; the lessons and the experiences come from learning which colours combine the best to make a painting into a work of art. A true artist doesn't automatically know which brush works best with what canvas, it takes time and patience and one day, it suddenly all comes together, and you just know you've done it. You will continue to carry that knowledge with you onto the next painting, the next step of life.

Realisations are a harsh though thing though aren't they? If they're good, then fantastic!! If they're bad, well, I tend to be more annoyed at the fact I only just figured something out and it's been hiding elusively from me for a long while! I've been having more and more realisations over these past few days, some good, some bad, some are just mere facts presenting themselves to me clearly rather than the clouded version in the back of my mind. If I were to be completely honest with you, sometimes I wish I could have a clean slate and start all over. It's not even anything in particular I want to start over, just something...one tiny little thing that would make all the difference to me and the way I live my life. I realised that I have family, and not just biological that love and care for as sisters and brothers do...it is these people who have helped me form a new opinion of people that not everyone has a cruel intention, not everyone takes offence if you're in a bad mood, not everyone is out to get you, not everyone wants to take pleasure in your suffering; family are quite open, forgiving, caring, offer kind words when you need them, even if you don't want them; they understand and don't hold a grudge, you don't feel like you need to compete, you don't have to feel like you're fighting to stay a part of a friendship, you just feel warm and welcome and like nothing in the world could tear you apart.

 It has taken me many years to learn this, many years to find those people who showed me that life can be better. There really is truth in the saying 'it's the people you choose to surround yourself with that make all the difference'.
But you know, I guess looking back...If I did happen to go back and change the ways things happened, change things I've said and done in the past, then I wouldn't have had the opportunity to appreciate my family and friends as strongly as I do.

Reality isn't always as bad as it seems... and who knows! One day I may get my wish and whisk myself off to France; I'm gonna need to win lottery though because it just wouldn't be the same if I couldn't take my friends with me.

Xx