Frozen kiwi fruit and fat pants

As you may have read in yesterday's episode, our bar fridge (which is very unused to having actual food inside it) has decided that even on the lightest setting it's going Han Solo all my food. I used my noodle last night and actually left OUT the cheese and the avocado to have on my breakfast toast so I wasn't trying to manoeuvre frozen avocado out of it's skin with a plastic picnic knife. So that worked out. Do you think I thought to do the same thing with my vegetables for dinner? NOPE *facepalm*

*sigh* It's ok, I cooked my steak and my vegies and am currently having at them with great gusto. I figured since I'd bought some yummy golden kiwi fruits I should grab a few out to defrost in the meantime so I can have them with rock solid ice cream later (hey it needs to get eaten!) 

Ok.. so I sorted out my food problem (again). Now to fill you in... a few days ago I decided that I'd enough of trying to grow my hair and it was time to give it the chop. You know when your hair gets to that annoying mullet length and would nearly be long enough to put in a pony tail if only you were more patient? No? Well lucky you! I got to that stage, and I also got the point where I knew that trimming it myself as I had done for the past 10 or so months just wasn't going to 'cut' it (haha see what I did there). I trot on down to the hairdresser, park my large pregnant-lady arse into those awkward chairs and say 'I don't really know what I want, just something short and manageable that I can stick some gel stuff in and not worry about'. That was evidently the WRONG thing to say. Why? My hair, and to be fair I did ASK for short, is now almost non-existent. This particular style looks GREAT on other people... people with nice figures and angular faces.. not bloated, puffy, put-on-too-much-pregnancy-weight people such as myself. It just does. not. work. And no I'm not going to show you. It's too awful. I plan on living in beanies til it grows out a bit. I was out today doing some shopping and as I had been cleaning my apartment with a friend in preparation to move I was in my fat pants with my absurdly short hair and I rather large belly poking out the front. Now I have no problem with fat pants, fat pants are great! Particularly when you're fat... oh and by the way, on that note, if one more person says to me 'you're not fat, you're pregnant' I will hit them in the face with a wet Halibut. I caught sight of myself in the mirror as I was looking for giant sized knit wear, and oh god. I am too fat for my fat pants. There is no worse feeling in the world than realising you are too fat for your fat pants. I wanted to run away... I wanted to cry... I wanted to lock myself indoors and never have to see anyone ever again. It certainly did NOT give me the confidence to move almost to another state where family (or anybody for that matter) would ever see me. And NO I am not just too 'pregnant' for my fat pants. I am too fat for them. It is downright bloody depressing. As for the oversized knit wear, I bought two giant jumper things in size XL to frump around in. Hey they're warm, and they fit, that's all I'm really interested in. Except in one of them I look like a giant sheep and in the other I resemble a rather large bumblebee. But, as I said, they're warm and they fit. End of story. 

Do you know, it is one of the hardest things to come to terms with when you're a bigger girl and you're pregnant... the hardest thing is coming to terms with the fact that you are not one of those people who start small, grow a bump and snap back the next month after birth. You are curvy and errrm voluptuous to start with, and not overly happy with your current size, then you fall pregnant and find that weight just JUMPS on you from out of nowhere. It is a very difficult thing to accept. It's very hard to be comfortable with yourself and feel confidence. I'm not talking about the bump... I love my bump! My bump is amazing and it's part of me at the moment. It's the other weight that I'm referring to... and if I'm brutally honest today while I was out in my horrid haircut and fat pants I really felt very uncomfortable in public. Even more so than usual. It was a really difficult experience for me emotionally. I do not feel pretty, or that I'm glowing, or sexy, or attractive in the slightest. I honestly felt repulsive, and I stopped a moment to think about how I might feel in another month, or after our bublette is born and I couldn't fathom it at all. 

It's the most difficult thing I'm trying to deal with at the moment... it certainly isn't easy, and I know that for the time being I am growing life and my body will do what it will do and that I have little control over it. I also need to accept that regaining my self image and confidence after birth will be very difficult too, but I am doing my best to take it as it comes. 

Anyhoo, enough with the doom and gloom! One of my AMAZING friends came in today to help me clean our place and it is looking so much better! I'm feeling less apprehensive about the moving out of here part and now focusing more on the next stages of our journey. My husband is currently on the way back from Albury with the now empty truck and it's the realisation that this is it. My stuff is gone! It's in another place, and we'll soon be living in that place. Scaaary stuff! 

Another day down, another one to come tomorrow. Anything after that will just have to wait. Now though I am exhausted, my feet are swollen and I am going to settle down with my freshly-washed fur balls and watch some more Miranda whilst I wait for hubby to get home.

Goodnight lovelies! 

:) 

27 weeks and 5 days ~ 86 days to go! Pregnancy so far

• Dog fur on everything drives me more NUTS than usual. I cannot stand it! I want to shave my dogs.  
• Nothing is ever clean enough these days!! 
• Braxton Hicks have started... and oh my crumpets are they weird?! I get a few in the mornings and a few again at night normally when I have to pee! Or do the Braxton Hicks make me want to pee? Who knows! Either way they're weird. Nothing says 'you're growing an alien' like Braxton Hicks!
• I still can't stand Garlic Bread EWWWW 
• Bras are the devil. Not wearing a bra is also the devil. Can't win hehe 
• I can go from hot to cold in 2.5 seconds and I don't mean in the *wink wink* kind of way. Feeling way too cold during the day, my feet never seem to feel warm and at night I'm too warm under anything more than two blankets. 
• Bubba kicks all day and it's the best feeling in the world! I love his little wiggles, twists and kicks they're such  beautiful things to experience. 
• If I lie still you can actually see little feet (or hands!) pushing outwards! 
• Even though some people think antenatal classes are a waste of time, both myself and hubby found them to be very useful. Yes most of it is common sense but each hospital is different in it's practices and hearing how the particular hospital we are booked into goes about things was a huge comfort. I think I irritated everyone by the end of each day with all my questions! 
• Still no crazy cravings! Well, not really the kind you see in movies where the woman sends her husband out at 2am for watermelon and Chop Suey anyway. I had one for a caramel latte frappe from McCafe a couple of weeks ago and it tasted like heaven but that could have just been that I was missing my coffees. Any cold dairy product is a win and I usually always feel like cold milk on cereal (I've been having a bowl of cornflakes before bed lately, lovely lovely lovely!), chocolate milk, custard, yoghurt, iced anything = yum! 

Things that now feel like Olympic sports:

1. Washing your legs in the shower/ Drying your legs after a shower

2. Getting into one's own knickers

3. As above with pants

4. Picking things up off the floor

5. Climbing stairs (or maybe that's just me being hideously unfit)
6. Getting out of beanbags.
7. Rolling over in bed

• I've developed odd little OCD habits. For example I have to wash my hair everyday or I just rage. It's true!! I can't STAND the feeling of unwashed hair against my skin at the moment. Is that weird? I should probably get used to NOT doing that though hey? Other things include not wanting to cut my own fingernails because I can't stand the feeling of a nail file. It's the sound and the feeling, I just hate it! 
• No heartburn! (yet) Does that mean a bald baby? Or it could have something to do with all the milk I've been drinking.
• I still get sick in the mornings *sigh* but thankfully so long as I shove some toast down the minute I get out of bed it's all ok... except when I don't make it to the toaster in time. Not nice. 

So far so good actually :) I was having troubles with the information being given to me at antenatal appointments that were causing some stress but just thismorning I was contacted by the hospital and invited to Group Practice which has really lifted my confidence. It means I will see one midwife for the remainder of my pregnancy rather than whoever is on at the time and if she is available then she will attend the labour aswell (although that's not a guarantee it's still very comforting). She then visits me at home after I leave the hospital to check up on me and bub for a period of time. I'm looking forward to finding out more information next week at my next check up but it sounds like it will suit me and make things a bit more comfortable for me (what with the anxiety and all). We are of course still flipping out over the things we still need to buy and wondering how the heck we're going to manage it over the coming months but it will work out in the end. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself... I may lose my mind otherwise!

So guess what....?

We had our scan thismorning and it turns out.....

19 weeks today and a crochet yo-yo afghan square

Hi all,
how've you been? Things have been hectic here in the life of me lately.... it's the old saying 'everything that can go wrong will go wrong' and it certainly seems like it has. Finances falling to bits, the car deciding to take its own life and needing don't-even-want-think-about-how-many-dollars worth of work to get it road worthy again, family dysfunction, all those sorts of things that make life interesting. Bubba Shmoogle Bean on the other hand though seems to be doing well thankfully, I hit the 19 week mark today and no my morning sickness STILL hasn't buggered off. No kicks yet either which I'm told should start to happen soon-ish... I have had plenty of nosebleeds, headaches, nausea and the kind of ligament pain that stresses you out everytime it happens. Whoever said the lack of sleep doesn't start until AFTER you've had the baby was very very wrong too by the way and deserves a swift kick! I think some website suggested I use a pillow to stick under my tummy at night if I'm uncomfortable laying on my side BUT that only works if you don't move around...which I do... a lot.... in a way very similar to a fish out of water. The pillow usually ends up being thrown out. All part of them *ahem* joys of it though. And I have a bump now! Finally! I had planned to take progress photos from week 8 or whatever but I decided I was too fat and you couldn't see anything anyway. My non-baby bump has been replaces recently with actual baby bump so I now feel like I can share a pic. Ta da!

This evening has been relatively uneventful (in a really boring way)... you know when you get into a state where you're so tired sleep seems impossible but you're too cranky to be awake and functioning? That's me. My bloody eye won't stop twitching and I've had this annoying headache since I woke up thismorning and I just haven't been able to shake it.... yes I know! Sleep would probably fix those things but it's only 7.20pm :( Sooo what am I doing? Crocheting of course... crocheting and trying to focus on NOT pacing a hole into the floor with over-tired headachey frustration. Anyone got a spare chill pill?

I thought I'd give something different a go... I've started on a yo-yo blanket square and am just in the process of learning how to join the yo-yo's together. It helps when the pattern is easy to follow like this one! You can check out the design and download the free crochet pattern at YarnCrazy Crochet World And nope, I haven't bought any new yarn... I am still using up the half-balls in my plastic tub. I actually have 3 scrap afghans on the go at the moment trying to clear up some space in my cupboard, but I can't share those just yet :o) Wish me luck joining all these bits together tonight though! My WIP basket is very much overflowing with half finished projects and here I go deciding to start another. As you do!

Itty Bitty Crocodile Stitch Booties FTW!

When I first found this pattern I thought the crocodile stitch was the hardest crochet stitch in the universe (not blowing it out of proportion or anything of course)... much cursing went on whilst I tried to get my already ache-y brain around it (because when you've had morning sickness and a throbbing headache all day the next obvious step is to try and crochet something DUH) You can probably imagine how uber stupid I felt once it clicked and turned out to be easy peasy WHOOPS! Anyhoo now I've got the hang of it and all is well.... behold my booties! Down right adorable :o) I have to say, of all the bootie patterns I've tried in the past these are the easiest to work up, and easier still once you get the hang of the scales around the top. The V-stitch is fast and simple and this pattern can easily be adjusted to fit any sized foot big or small!

The pattern calls for a 4mm hook but as I was working with baby ply yarn I used a 4.5mm and they should fit 0-3 months. You can find the fabulously free pattern at Lolly's Crafty Crochet and if you search for these on Ravelry you can download the PDF too :o) These will be keeping tiny tootsies warm and toasty come September!

Linked up to

Pie in the sky!

Well it's Friday, another week bites the dust! If only I felt up to celebrating! Yep, you guessed it! The morning sickness is still hovering around making life miserable...I was given a few days grace and TA DA it has returned. 14 weeks and 1 day...here was I thinking I'd be free and clear after 12 weeks...bummer right! Even though eating is the furthest thing from my mind today I'm *somehow* shuffling around the kitchen doing some baking. Hubby and I thought we'd have a little dinner party tonight, okay so there is only one person coming..and it isn't really a 'party' as such but SHHHHH I'll call it what I want! On the menu is my famous-ok-so-it's-from-a-recipe-but-I-totally-rock-it Chicken Cacciatore full of tomato-y goodness...very delicious! That of course goes with fresh crusty bread and steamed broccoli :o) I was going to cook my equally as loved homemade fettucine carbonara but my stomach and rich creamy things don't agree at the moment Grrrrrr
For dessert I thought I'd go for something classic that I've never tried before..I'm making a 'Pie in the Sky' high top apple pie made in a springform cake tin rather than a pie dish, and made with custard powder in the pastry. Sounded pretty tasty! It took me almost 2 hours pottering around our tiny kitchen preparing the pastry but I got there eventually...the pie is now in the oven and *fingers crossed* doesn't explode. I thought I'd give my ice cream maker another go and make up a vanilla bean egg-free ice cream to go with said pie too...it had better be worth it! The darn single vanilla bean cost me $14! I have had to take alot of breaks mid-cooking and preparing to sit down and wait for the nausea to pass but I'm determined to get it all done! I am so tired of toast and lemonade! I am having something delicious for dinner tonight damnit! (stay tuned for later tonight when I eat my words and wish I'd had toast instead!)

Pie pre-oven... Ok FINE I used tinned apples too...VERY unlike me but the cost of the vanilla bean cut into my apple budget. Cooking on sweet f/a cash means sometimes you have to cut a corner. Nevermind, I'm sure everything will be delish anyway. Also I don't know why but as soon as I started working on the pie this song got stuck going round and round in my head..so now I'm going to stick on yours haha! Happy Friday! I certainly have High Hopes of getting all this done.

A most un-glamorous morning

We're green!! I felt like a change... much nicer :o)

Soooo my scan went great yesterday; the feeling you get when you see your baby for the first time happy healthy and bouncing around is just indescribable! It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and SUCH a relief! My husband and I are just so happy! He couldn't believe his eyes...it must be one thing to know your wife is pregnant and another thing entirely to actually see the little life growing inside her!
 I know I was so stressed yesterday morning, there seems to be a million and one things to worry about but I guess you just have to take it as it comes and trust that your body knows what it's doing right? Believe me I tried to remember that when I got up thismorning to make toast and ended up throwing up all over myself and the floor between the kitchen and the bathroom.  The first 12 weeks I had constant nausea and had plenty of warning before I needed to make a bathroom or bucket dash.. I am 13 weeks + 1 today and hey! No more warning system! It just 'happens' suddenly. It isn't making me keen to leave the house or be out of arms reach of my bucket ever again I can tell you!

Meet our little wiggle bean! Sucking its thumb, scratching its belly, legs crossed... seems pretty cozy in there! Not fussed at all that mummy was wiping her own sick off the bathroom doorknob. It will all be worth it in the end :o)

13 week baby jitters

Well.. at least I THINK I'm 13 weeks! It might be 12 weeks and 6 days...or something like that, close enough! I find out for sure today at 2.30pm (5 hours and 25 minutes to go!) as well as everything else... like is baby growing at the rate rate? Will it be healthy? Does baby still have a heartbeat? What if I've done something wrong to affect my baby? How will I cope if I receive any bad news today? What even constitutes bad news? What if those pains I've been feeling were important and I shouldn't have ignored them as growing pains? I have all these questions and more running a million miles through my mind at the moment and it's only 9.05am in the morning. I'm sure there will be more accumulated before my scan today. As a first time preggo you're not really sure what to expect, or to think... and I guess I've just been going with the flow as best I can and trying not to worry too much and let me tell you! 'Not worrying too much' is NOT in my nature!! Have I been too cruisy about everything?! ARRRRRG

Ok I'm breathing again.

Needless to say I'm a bit frazzled. Thismorning I woke up with horrible sharp cramps in my pelvis and my thought was instantly that something was happening to the baby...then reality settled back in and the calm rational part of my brain (as miniscule as it might be) reminded me that I had those pains PRE-pregnancy and it usually just means my bowels are having a hissy fit. As stupid as this is about to sound..I don't actually know where in amongst the multitude of blubber I posess my baby IS actually. No really!! What kind of woman doesn't know where her WOMB is for cryin' out loud? Ummmm ME!! The thing is I am so used to abdominal pains of all sorts from previously when my 'mystery' illness was hitting me hard that I honestly don't feel much that's different... and by different I mean the pains or whatever usually associated with growing a human. How weird is that? SHOULD I know which pains are which? I don't know! See what I mean? TO MUCH THOUGHT IN BRAIN... EXPLOSION IMMINENT!  Whatever.. at 2.30pm today, my mind will either be at ease... or the radiology unit walls will be painted in fetching new shades of 'human head' when my brain finally can't take the pressure and unusual extra activity.


Either way really!

There's gonna be a baby Shmoogle Bean!

I know right! SQUEEEEEEEEE! We are absolutely thrilled, as you may or may not know we are expecting our very first bubba this year!! EXCITEMENT!!!!!! Well you know, hubby and I had been married just over a year and we thought hey, let's make this year 'The Year' and try for a baby...we decided this in December 2012....I fell pregnant in January :o) I gotta admit it was a bit of a suprise! We kind of thought 'oh hey, it'll take a few months, longer maybe!' so you can imagine the look on our faces when one Saturday on a whim we duck into Coles at 11.30pm to pick up some pregnancy tests...and I think maybe I should wait til morning to take a test. Impatience got the better of me and a few minutes later, there it was...the second little pink line clear as day. I'm not sure what I thought at the time, maybe that it couldn't possibly have fallen pregnant so fast and promptly took the other two to make sure the first one wasn't faulty and lo and behold, there in front of me were three pink lines! We didn't get a lot of sleep that night, the nerves were crazy! After popping along to the Dr to confirm our good news, we were sent for a dating scan and first saw Baby Shmoogle Bean... ok so it was more of a splodge than a baby at 7 weeks 5 days but all the same, it was wonderful! Little heartbeat and everything :o) Epic smooshy moment! So there's not a lot to see there yet... but we get our 12 week scan next Monday and I am beyond excited!!

 



I have had the dreaded morning sickness since week 3 and alas it's not restricted to just the mornings...it's been



 

And let me tell you absolutely no fun! (despite any enthusiasm from The Kinks) Your excitement is kinda dampened when you have your head in a bucket....BUT sickness is apparantly a good thing meaning my hormones are doing what they're supposed to. Then all those things that come with being pregnant start happening...like a nasty UTI that was actually bleeding into my urine, then the absolutely shocking bout of thrush that came from the antibiotics that kept me up for nights on end...then the flu which I've acquired recently bought home by my husband (who works with school children all day) so thanks a bunch mother who sent their kid to school with the flu! Needless to say I've been stuck on bedrest A LOT these past few weeks....loads of books being read through and TV series' being watched. But you know what? Everyday that passes I'm thankful that I've made it past one week, then the next, then the next and all seems well. I am currently 9 weeks and 5 days, 10 weeks on Thursday and I breathe a little sigh of relief everyday. I have the most wonderfully supportive family although we live apart and whilst some friends have dropped away I have been blessed with those people who have shown sincere concern, excitement and happiness towards us since the beginning. People who remind me that through the sickness and worry I am growing a happy little vegemite and that Baby Shmoogle Bean will be loved by many! I might be turning into a bit of a hermit but Pinterest is here to help! (Hopefully) I've been stockpiling pins for this amazing occassion so that I can channel my creative vibes into creating for bub...to keep me occupied I'm simply going to choose something from my All Things Baby board and go for it! Which I will share of course :o)

I know most people don't usually share the good news until after 12 weeks, but my darling husband spilled the beans a tad too early and it kinda meant we had no choice haha! Very exciting stuff nevertheless and I am sooooo looking forward to seeing bubba again on Monday! :o)

 

 

SQUEEEE!!!