13 week baby jitters

Well.. at least I THINK I'm 13 weeks! It might be 12 weeks and 6 days...or something like that, close enough! I find out for sure today at 2.30pm (5 hours and 25 minutes to go!) as well as everything else... like is baby growing at the rate rate? Will it be healthy? Does baby still have a heartbeat? What if I've done something wrong to affect my baby? How will I cope if I receive any bad news today? What even constitutes bad news? What if those pains I've been feeling were important and I shouldn't have ignored them as growing pains? I have all these questions and more running a million miles through my mind at the moment and it's only 9.05am in the morning. I'm sure there will be more accumulated before my scan today. As a first time preggo you're not really sure what to expect, or to think... and I guess I've just been going with the flow as best I can and trying not to worry too much and let me tell you! 'Not worrying too much' is NOT in my nature!! Have I been too cruisy about everything?! ARRRRRG

Ok I'm breathing again.

Needless to say I'm a bit frazzled. Thismorning I woke up with horrible sharp cramps in my pelvis and my thought was instantly that something was happening to the baby...then reality settled back in and the calm rational part of my brain (as miniscule as it might be) reminded me that I had those pains PRE-pregnancy and it usually just means my bowels are having a hissy fit. As stupid as this is about to sound..I don't actually know where in amongst the multitude of blubber I posess my baby IS actually. No really!! What kind of woman doesn't know where her WOMB is for cryin' out loud? Ummmm ME!! The thing is I am so used to abdominal pains of all sorts from previously when my 'mystery' illness was hitting me hard that I honestly don't feel much that's different... and by different I mean the pains or whatever usually associated with growing a human. How weird is that? SHOULD I know which pains are which? I don't know! See what I mean? TO MUCH THOUGHT IN BRAIN... EXPLOSION IMMINENT!  Whatever.. at 2.30pm today, my mind will either be at ease... or the radiology unit walls will be painted in fetching new shades of 'human head' when my brain finally can't take the pressure and unusual extra activity.


Either way really!