Help!? my wedding is trying to eat me!!

Uh oh.... 1 month and 9 days to go until....


until





I GET MARRIED!!!!!!


Still so much to do! I can't believe it's flown around so quickly! I'm starting to feel a bit distant from it to be honest, like it's not 'real'... it's like Christmas when your 6, you wait for it for weeks, months even and when it finally arrives it's like you've waited so long, and been so excited and there's so much hype surrounding it that the day just doesn't seem like 'The Day'! I kinda feel like I should just 'go with it' and take everything as it comes but I'm feeling like I'm being a little TOO laid back about it and I don't know why. It's not that I don't care about it, no no no no no... im marrying my best friend and to use a cliche the love of my life.. it's more the wedding part than the marriage part... oh gosh I'm making no sense again aren't I?

I've been planning for so long, and there have been SOOOO many dissappointments along the way... to name a few:

The dress not fitting ( i wont go into it but in a nutshell, it does now THANKFULLY!, but when I tried it on the ladies who sold it to me told me it was perfect for me when it turns out it hadnt been done up at the back and was way to small)

My social anxiety holding me back from going to the gym which is costing me a fortune to stay a member of and we can't get out of it :(

Family dissapproval

Bridesmaid dress issues... as in we only just picked and ordered them two weeks ago (I wont go into that further but HOLY COW has it been stressing me out!)

Being double booked TWICE after a PAID deposit for our original ceremony site AND the second ceremony site we booked due to the first one falling through.

Having such rude vendor services in our original wedding location, no one we paid to hire actually made us feel like it was our big day, just that it was a burden on them

SO due to some major stressors and budget problems we moved the wedding from one town to our home town for convenience for us and costing less 3 months before the wedding date... that hasn't been as much of a nightmare as you'd imagine... aside from a 30% drop in the guest list of attendees but we expected that.

There are more  but I won't go into it...


you see why I'm feeling a little distant about it? It just seems like everytime we plan something to work for US and to make US happy it falls apart and ends up being more stress! GRRRRRRRRR


I guess I'm just finding it difficult to be excited, and to be prepared for whatever happens.

Help!?

Goals and I dont get along too well

I started a little page for my hand sewn things but you don't know me from any one else out there who does the same thing. I am just another girl entering the crafting world in the hopes of selling something right? Wrong! Actually, the real reason was because I feel like of my many little foibles (be they useful or not) not many of them are actually known to anyone but me! I didn't know I could sing until I stood up in front of a crowd of 250 people one day for a charity fundraiser and sang 'Killing Me Softly' and got a standing ovation...I didn't know I could draw overly well until my art teacher told me I would sincerely benefit from taking a two year trip to Paris to study in a Parisian Art School! As I am not currently sitting under the Eiffle Tower sipping piccolo lattes with a pencil in my hand, you can see that I didn't take that advice.. (a couple of thousand dollars can make any dream a reality) but still, it was a MASSIVE encouragement to be told that.

But in saying all that, I don't sing in front of people, I'm not a member of a choir, and I get rejected from musical auditions (I maintain I'm not 'stage material'... I think you have to be pretty for that stuff), I hardly ever draw anymore and I'm sure there's more to me than that but I haven't worked it out yet.

And so, one of my foibles that I actually want the world to notice (and people have told me it's a little peculiar at my age, but I dont care)... I actually really really REALLY love to hand sew and embroider!! Machine sewing, and don't get me wrong, there are some AMAZING things out there people are able to sew with a machine but I just don't get the same satisfaction from it. I actually enjoy the quiet moments spent sitting with a needle and thread in hand and carefully running a stitch through fabric, it's utter bliss for me! I don't feel the same sense of... oh I don't know how to word it.... erm, the drive to make a dress for example.. so you buy your fabric, you buy your pattern and it's pretty much done in a day. I suppose, if my intention was to make baby clothes for example, you'd need to make them sturdy, they're have to withstand multiple washes... hand sewing doesn't always provide that so of course I'm not going to try and make baby clothes. Dolls clothes perhaps, but not for children... does this make sense?

Anyway, so let me show you something I found thismorning that I had forgotton I'd done

This is a 30 x 30cm square of chocolate brown satin that I hand embroidered with dragonflies and a lovely vine pattern with beadwork. I adore dragonflies, and my intention with this was that I was going to make enough squares in 'colours of the seasons' each embroidered with the dragonflies and vines and roses to make a bed throw out of. It was when I found this square of fabric thismorning that my intentions came rushing back to me and I felt an overwhelming desire to continue with my dream (I don't need a couple thousand dollars for this one!)

Here is the second one I must have started but didn't finish

So this is my plan... I want to finish this project, I really do! Then I want to enter it in the craft section of the Autumn Festival next year! Wouldn't that be fantastic?! I'm excited just thinking about it... but of course, I'd have to actually start working on it again for that. Too bad I can't stick to goals! I will, for the time being, put this project into the 'to be completed' basket I think.

Dreaming of Chocolate Cream Pie

I was watching 'Julie and Julia' today and I have been hit with a powerful desire to make a chocolate cream pie!! Looks like I'm taking a trip to the supermarket in the morning! And while we're on the subject of food, I will also be baking a roast dinner on Sunday... oh yes, yes, yes Sunday roast how cliche right? Ha ha well it's like this, I havent baked ANYTHING in oh I don't know how many months. Call it being busy, call it being lazy, it could be due to anything really but the point is I am due to be married in October and I'm shaping up to be a pretty crummy wife! So my poor fiance has been sleeping outside in the freezing cold for his job since Wednesday and gets back on Sunday and I feel terrible... the apartment is an absolute disaster zone, I've hardly touched the kitchen, the washing is almost high enough to scale with a grappling hook and considering we don't have children I'm thinking that's pretty slack of me. So I've kicked myself back into gear and gone a crazy cleaning spree this evening and my lovely man has requested a nice big beef roast with lots of baked potatoes (his favourite) and a citrus meringue tart. Sounds good doesn't it? Ok so it does seem a little '50's house wife' but believe me when I say, if I am willing to clean up our collosal mess and cook a giant meal... our apartment and eeating habits have been REALLY bad lately.

But anyway that's enough of me commiserating about how I wouldn't survive a bygone era...

So, 4 months til Christmas huh? Holy cannoli that has come back around fast! It doesn't seem that long ago that we had last Christmas! I swear it comes up faster and faster every year don't you think?
I hadn't even thought about it really, until the thought struck me today that i'd need to start present hunting again *insert slightly apprehensive frightened face* I HATE Christmas shopping... you would think since I had my own little shop I could just make everyone something right? Alas the downside of only stocking things applicable to girls... I don't think my dad or my brother would appreciate a cute headband somehow!

What is everyone else doing for Chrissy this year? Wouldn't it be great if the whole online crafting community could participate in one ginourmous 'Secret Santa' where we all agree to swap with other businesses in return for something of theirs and so on? Imagine the variety of gifts you'd end up with!! THAT would be a great way to make Christmas easy...

Happy Friday and wishing you all a fantastic weekend guys

-Tash Xx