until
I GET MARRIED!!!!!!
Still so much to do! I can't believe it's flown around so quickly! I'm starting to feel a bit distant from it to be honest, like it's not 'real'... it's like Christmas when your 6, you wait for it for weeks, months even and when it finally arrives it's like you've waited so long, and been so excited and there's so much hype surrounding it that the day just doesn't seem like 'The Day'! I kinda feel like I should just 'go with it' and take everything as it comes but I'm feeling like I'm being a little TOO laid back about it and I don't know why. It's not that I don't care about it, no no no no no... im marrying my best friend and to use a cliche the love of my life.. it's more the wedding part than the marriage part... oh gosh I'm making no sense again aren't I?
I've been planning for so long, and there have been SOOOO many dissappointments along the way... to name a few:
The dress not fitting ( i wont go into it but in a nutshell, it does now THANKFULLY!, but when I tried it on the ladies who sold it to me told me it was perfect for me when it turns out it hadnt been done up at the back and was way to small)
My social anxiety holding me back from going to the gym which is costing me a fortune to stay a member of and we can't get out of it :(
Family dissapproval
Bridesmaid dress issues... as in we only just picked and ordered them two weeks ago (I wont go into that further but HOLY COW has it been stressing me out!)
Being double booked TWICE after a PAID deposit for our original ceremony site AND the second ceremony site we booked due to the first one falling through.
Having such rude vendor services in our original wedding location, no one we paid to hire actually made us feel like it was our big day, just that it was a burden on them
SO due to some major stressors and budget problems we moved the wedding from one town to our home town for convenience for us and costing less 3 months before the wedding date... that hasn't been as much of a nightmare as you'd imagine... aside from a 30% drop in the guest list of attendees but we expected that.
There are more but I won't go into it...
you see why I'm feeling a little distant about it? It just seems like everytime we plan something to work for US and to make US happy it falls apart and ends up being more stress! GRRRRRRRRR
I guess I'm just finding it difficult to be excited, and to be prepared for whatever happens.
Help!?
Gosh, I really can't imagine what you must be going through but it doesn't sound like fun. My husband and I have been married for over 16 years but we got married in Las Vegas and I have never ever ever regretted that decision. The stress factor of planning your own wedding would be too much for me I think. What is interesting though, is although I never planned my own wedding, I am getting ready to launch a new business once we get back to California: WEDDING PLANNING. It is all inspired by the vintage wedding pieces that I create and sell. I have just had so much fun during the process and making new connection with brides, etc. that I just really felt driven to 'go for it'. So, with full-disclosure that I am NO EXPERT I would be more than happy to lend an ear if you need it. Best of luck to you and just remember that the wedding is one day, make it the best you can, but your marriage is for a life-time and is what matters. ㋡
ReplyDeleteWow, it sounds like you have been through a WHOLE LOT during this planning process. (I'm an LCSW, and) I don't think you sound weird, or like you are not making sense. You seem very clear about the person whom you are marrying, but certainly these stressers along the way have dampened part of the process. If all of these things have now resolved themselves, it shows that you are resourceful and stronger than you think. It's pretty safe to say that there are glitches along the way of every wedding; however, the detachment that you describe now may be due to feeling that there is just not a whole lot left to do, and planning this has taken up so much of your life for so long. However, my better judgment tells me it's your anxiety that is getting the better of you at this point. I know you identified it as 'Social Anxiety', but as stemming from the umbrella of general anxiety disorders, it is not surprising that you are feeling way. So, the real question becomes, will you be able to move past all of the things that have happened and now relax and try to enjoy the time before your wedding? Or are you going to hold on to the things that have gone wrong, and let them set the precedent for the rest of this journey? You should do whatever you can to take good care of yourself, and take some time every day that you devote to thinking about how pretty you are going to look in your dress, or what your first kiss as husband and wife will feel like, etc. Also, list some positive parts of this process thus far, and try to release the others. I know it's easier said than done, but ultimately this whole event is to celebrate the life that you and your future husband and "best friend" are going to spend together. :) Get in touch with those positive FEELINGS, instead of getting lost in stressful thoughts. At the end of the day, as long as you are both there to say, "I do", that is the BEST thing about it all. I hope this is a little bit helpful. <3
ReplyDeleteOh ladies you are both so wonderful! Thankyou for your encouraging support :) Annie, we originally thought about eloping but then we felt guilty about family members and friends not being able to attend and decided against it... although a few times along the way we're reconsidered it! But it's ok, things will work out the way they are meant to. Ohhh Vegas! That's always been a dream of mine to go there one day, my partner and I want to renew our vows in 20 years time or so with a Star Trek theme at Vegas just for fun!
ReplyDeleteMegan, thankyou so much! I'm glad I made enough sense that you were both able to read, comprehend and interpret my post thismorning! Hmm... see, that's the problem I keep facing, I'm not sure if I have the strength to just relax on the day and always remember the good instead of the bad... I tend to let the bad things take over without meaning to and it sort of ruins things for me quite frequently which isn't good I know! Stress is silly... who invented stress!? Thankyou for your tip, I think I will sit down and write down the positive parts, just to put them in perspective and so they are right in front of me and try to develop a way to handle the bad things that may come from here on in in a more positive light... the last thing I want to happen is for me to be clinging to all the horrid things that might happen rather than the good!