Derp.

I am making this Cactus Garden. I'm telling you because it may never be finished; I HATE single crochet...probably why I prefer admiring Amigurumi from a distance.

It's windy today, my dogs are growling and romping around the loungeroom, I have a feeling it may storm, I am currently surrounded by yarn (which you would THINK would cheer me up but it's just making me frustrated), I am still in my pj's and dressing gown at 3.22pm, I am definately sure most of the world is out to get to me and my husband is bringing me a packet of double coat Tim Tams and a mixed Kebab with BBQ sauce and sour cream when he finishes work. I am feeling extremely tired, weak, crap and would have no problem killing anything that annoys me today with fire. I have no idea why... the joys of being me!

However thumbs up for the awesome husband who senses my extreme bleck-ness today and opts to bring me tasty foods.

 

Well hey it wouldn't be much of a blog if I didn't crap on about how shit things are sometimes. I feel like a total derp-nozzle....Sorry I can't be one of those super dooper craft/life bloggers who are always happy and have awesome projects and kids and houses and life styles and interesting things to write about yada yada yada etc I'm really quite average!


Why can't I just be happy in my pajamas surrounded by wool and junkfood?


I've got no freakin' clue.

Oh and in case you're wondering, yes that is my brain slug buried in that wool there.


Derp indeed.

Now I know something is wrong...

After yesterdays blog post where I explained what was happening with me at the moment, I thought I should let you the next development in the story. For starters I can't set this blog to state the date in Australia so it is a day behind, it is actually the 2nd of March today.

So all the signs were pretty clear, but not for what we expected. I was due on the 20th of last month and today marks the 11th day and still no sign of Aunt Flow. I took a HPT on the 26th = negative, waited three days and took one again on the 29th and again = negative. I bought a digital HPT last night, tested AGAIN thismorning and still negative. Now I am not only annoyed at my body, but incredibly concerned. I've been experiencing sharp little pains on my lower abdomen on either side, still no appetite for food at all, still sore in the usual places... BUT I have had no pain going to the bathroom or any such other pain. So now I have absolutely no idea what it going on, I feel like an overinflated water balloon! My clothes hate me at the moment because my stomach just feels like it is full of bricks and no matter how hard I try does not want to stay sucked in! I'm too embarrassed to leave the house, and it probably doesn't help that due to all my bloating I had two seperate occassions where I was asked when my baby was due and looking and patting my belly AND LET ME TELL YOU I wanted to punch them in the face.

I know I have the doctors appointment on Monday, but they'll do the usual 'charge you money to pee on their test just to "double check' and send me for a blood test where I'll have to wait another week to get seen, then make another appointment for the doctor which will take another week subsequently (I have much experience in this procedure!) making it 3 weeks until we actually know for sure what the heck is going on.

So now, to be absolutely honest, I am at home by myself all day today and I am in a rut. I don't feel like I want to do anything (this post will be todays biggest acheivement most likely) and I just feel the need to crawl into a ball and cry!

Mums out there I need your help!

Don't you hate being sick and not knowing what's wrong with you? And then knowing you have to wait a week to see a doctor about it! This is a purely a girly blog post (not that I suspect many men would read a blog as flowery and pink as mine but I may be suprised!).... maybe the mummies out there could help?

It's like this... I have had little to no appetite for about a month, I can eat but it has to be a certain food otherwise I feel naseous and really rather ill. I have an insane sense of smell at the moment, and I mean I can pick up the smell of our neighbours dog poo 2 doors down! My tummy has been in a world of bloatedness and a constant 'full feeling' (which I am getting so sick of...I like my food! It's awful not being able to eat!) and when I do eat, it's not as flavourful as it would normally be. My poor chest feels like lead and I want to burn my bra it's so irritating. On top of all this, I missed my you know what last month! I never ever ever miss a month, so this is all a first! I also have almost no memory of day to day activities, but im like that all the time so it's not really a symptom!

Do you hear the usual prognosis ticking over in your mind too? Of course, the first thing I thought was oh my, mabye I could be pregnant! I did take a HPT but as it's only a few days after my usual you know what would have ended I think it's too early to really know. What do you think?

I have a doctors appointment for Monday, at which they will most send me for a blood test and then we'll know for sure! And let me tell you, it would be A BIG relief to know either way, mostly because a lot of my symptoms could also mean something is not right with my overies or worse. It's so weird, it's so uncomfortable and it's so confusing! I'm such a half glass empty person when it comes to my health, if something isn't right I assume the worst. I have been to the docs with bloating before, and they attributed it to certain foods, but this feels different.

I also have the occassional mild cramping, no spotting, no sign of Aunt Flow at all! Even my usual old faithful cry-the-night-before-you're-due sign that I ALWAYS have happen seems to have bypassed me this time!

So...opinions? Make me feel a little better until Monday!

Oh and on a side note, I finished my current crochet project :) Might start another one just to distract myself!